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| The Wendt's Family Bed |
I remember it all
wrong about the manner in which we embraced co-sleeping when our first baby was
born, but as per usual as a new parent I was a little bit sleep deprived. We
both were. My son would not sleep if we laid him down in a crib. At. All. Someone
had to be holding him and moving constantly. At that time we didn’t know the
blissful joy of baby wearing and how good it is for mom, dad, AND baby. So it’d
been days since we’d been home from the hospital (we were lucky enough,
considering the number of hospital births that cascade as soon as the heart
monitor is put on and end up in a C-Section, and had a healthy baby boy, no
major interventions, not drug free) so we were sleep deprived to a level that
surpassed the friendly introduction I received to USMC boot camp at MCRD San
Diego. It had been especially difficult on my wife as nursing was much harder
than I realized and Felix wanted it all the time.
{Side note: Later
after Felix had been nursing for 6 months our pediatrician told us he was only nursing
for comfort at that point and Annie could wean him. First of all: shut up.
Secondly the science doesn’t support that statement, you should know that,
you’re a Doctor. And thirdly, SO WHAT IF SHE COMFORTS OUR BABY HERSELF INSTEAD
OF PUTTING HIM IN A CRIB WITH A NOOK.}
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| Nursing Caz beachside, two years old. For COMFORT, and a whole lot more |
Any who, back to
our story. I thought it was noon in the middle of the day when my wife was on
the phone with someone from la leche and that saint said to her “You can sleep
and nurse him in bed if you want and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise”. I
use quotations but really as I said, I was sleep deprived and Annie says I have
it all wrong so… After that we got much more sleep and nursing became easier.
Everyone was comfortable, cozy, and content. As it’s meant to be from the days
of the cave. It was so incredible all of us in bed together I hoped I’d be able
to get maybe two years at best of my son co-sleeping with us.
Here we are 8
years later and we still co-sleep. Often if someone feels cramped now that
there are 5 of us and only a king size bed. Sometimes we separate from main
base and my oldest and I adjourn to a full size. Sometimes I’ve been “lucky”
enough to have all three want to sleep with me in the full and sadly, mama is all
alone in the king. By herself.
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South Haven
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| The Muffin Man |
This tale of
comedy and woe takes place in one of those evenings where we were all in the
king after an extremely hot day in the gorgeous tourist town of South Haven,
(#puremichigan) on Lake Michigan’s Coast not too far from an infamous Capone
hideout.
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| Pippit!!?? |
Our Master Bedroom (calling it that
makes it sound fancy, it’s the biggest room in an eleventyone year old house on
the second floor and to put it in perspective the Master Bedrooms walk in
closet is 19.5” x 72”. Things were cramped and we were all exhausted from a
long joyful day at Lake Michigan.
Baths had been taken, teeth were being brushed, pajamas on.
No books tonight we were so tired once lights went out we’d all be out.
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| We're gonna need a bigger boat |
While the kids were in the bathroom
finishing up brushing their teeth and everything was going to happen,
regenerating, relaxing, regular uninterrupted sleep, my wife and I were already
in the covers (the MB has an in room portable AC and I like to sleep in an ice room
under a bazillion blankets). Slumber at this point was more enticing than the
possibility of sex nights that seldomly made the rotation, (except of course for our three year mating ritual).
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| Who's blue balls are these? |
and I was passing
out when a GIANT moth flew in the room from somewhere, of course it flew up
into the ceiling fan light and was trapped inside the glass.
I begrudgingly got
up out of bed and began to try and fish it out so I could catch and release it
(in our house, that’s what the children understand happens when indoor bugs are
caught up in a piece of toilet paper and goes to the “window “ (trashcan or
toilet). I had no luck even though it was huge it managed to escape my
meathooks which had trouble fitting in globe.
During the teeth brushing the kids came in and saw my
engagement with Mothra and heard the deep base of his buzzing, saw the giant
shadow of his girth and instinctively ran screaming . I exclaimed I was getting
it out and taking it to the window. FINISH BRUSHING YOUR TEETH I immediately
bellowed in a funny drill instructor tone to distract them from the terror that
is Mothra.
So, I began to
unscrew the globe to get it out because I KNEW it would easily fly out as soon
as the light was off. My beloved said
not to mess with it, it wouldn’t be a problem and I was going to wake up our
youngest (who had already fallen asleep and wouldn’t have woken up if he was
sprayed with ice water), if I continued to proceed. A mini contest of wills
engaged about continuing and getting the moth out when I reiterated it would
get out as SOON as lights were out. I saw what was going to happen clear as day
in my head, but didn’t want to dig my feet in and I angrily hissed through my
teeth concedingly “fine!!! When I do turn out the lights and it does come out I
hope it flies right into your mouth and you swallow it!” I said spitefully,
exhaustedly and utterly defeated.
Mothra finally tired
just as I laid down and ceased his infernal buzzing about. The kids came in and
I reassured them it was 100% out of the room and we were safe in a manner my
wife said sounded just like Jack Black and a used car salesman. I was so close
to slumber. I didn’t care and I wanted to turn out the lights so Mothra would
fly into my beloved wife’s mouth and I’d be right!!!!
So lights went out. All was quiet. Only the sounds of water
washing onto the beach emanating from our sleepy sound generating alarm clock.
I eagerly waited for Mothra to fly into my wifes mouth tingling with the
excitement of a kid in bed on Christmas eve.
BOOOOOM. BUZZZZ> GULLLLLLLPPPPP> COUGH> GAGGING>
Exactly as I predicted the moth came out as soon as the light
was off and flew into a mouth.
My mouth.
The Wendt Family Bed
This painting of us co-sleeping was inspired by a photo I shared on FB and my dear friend Gioia Albano was inspired to paint. Of course they'd all rolled over and the dad was on the floor. And as all good fathers should, I documented with photographs. Gigia was kind enough to paint me in, and with much more real estate than I am accustomed to having.
